People

change and it sucks. Period.

I could definitely use a good time right now. Hopefully I am going to the Ponkilla's later(:

Oh the ++ Side!
My mom is having a baby girl!
I am so excited.


Sorry this was so short. I am just frustrated.

Girls/Women/Ladies/Females

Female teenagers: 90% of them are all the same.
At one point it their Jr High-High School career, we all want to be a photographer or cosmetologist.
We all think we are so "original" or "different" when in fact most of us are exactly the same.
I tend to see this quote a lot on profiles

"I'm not like other girls"

When pretty much all the other girls are like you.
We act like no one knows what we are going through. And at one point we are all so dramatic no matter how much you want to deny it. We think breaking it off with your boyfriend is the end of the world.
Sometime in our life we  want to be an actress and make it big.
Oh and some girls that go to my school think they are so cool because they are from California. Trust me your not. Everyone is from California. Your not the only one.
Lots of girls when their in high school are "big partyers" your not cool, trust me.
At some time we "text chat" like lol omg rofl k. Yes everyone has done it.

I want to meet the people who have passed this stage in their life, who can accept the fact that they were once like that or like most of the things listed above. And have changed or grown from that experience in some way or another. Yes, these are the people I want for my friends.

monologue for theatre

Well this is the monologue I am doing for theatre class but hers is extended and I don't have nearly as much as she is saying. Its only like 3 minutes tops.
I am not acting it the way she is portraying it but here is what it is(:
But I think this monologue is pretty interesting.
Here is my monologue in writing.

KIM:

My name is Kim Kutledge and I am broken. I'm not really broken in the way that a tree becomes broken in a tropical storm or the way or the way an egg becomes broken when it is dropped to the kitchen floor before it can be put in the omelet. I am broken like a bone, painfully and somewhat grotesque to look at, but under the right conditions and proper care I will heal. [beat] What I mean to say is that I am a poet. Really, I am. Listen to this. It's a love poem. [clears throat]

Excuse me, but if you would
Give me the chance, I think I could
Do what I need to make you feel good

[long pause] What? No applause? Now you see what I'm talking about, broken. I wasn't even blessed with being tortured, Poe and Dante were tortured, I am simply ineffectual and unloved. I know what you're thinking, "Surely you jest, who would not love you?" The answer is the source of my pain and the reason I cannot heal. I do not love me. I'm like that one guy in that one 80's movie, I do everything that everyone tells me to do. On the plus side nothing is ever my fault, I can always point the finger at someone else. On the down side I talk to myself a lot. Like now for example. None of you are real. I bet you didn't know that, and I kinda hate to break it to you because I'm sure you think you're real, but I just made every one of you up. That's gotta be depressing, but don't worry about it, you'll cease to exist once I've finished thinking about you. But you wanna know the worst part? Would Keanu Reeves please stand up? [pause] See? He's not here! He's never here! I'm so broken that I can't even control my own hallucinations even after I've accepted that fact that they're hallucinations. I know you're wondering about the whole Keanu Reeves thing, but even if he can't act he can say "woah" with the best of them and if he wore his Matrix costume he wouldn't have to say a thing. [beat] Maybe I should go see a psychiatrist about this. I'm pretty sure it's not normal. He'd most likely tell me it was 'advanced projected schizophrenia' or something. I'm sure he'd ask me, "Do you occasionally feel like you're on stage?" and I'd say no but he'd see though it because he'd be a good psychiatrist, and I'd never go see a bad one. So I'd admit to sometimes feeling like I'm on stage and he'd ask me if I'd like to see Keanu Reeves appear and I'd deny that too, but he'd see though it again. So then I'd tell him that Keanu never showed, with or without his leather Matrix jacket. Then I'd ask him how he knew and he'd tell me that it's a pretty common thing, he used to go though something similar. It's hero worship gone horribly awry, something about not having the confidence to want to see someone actually interesting. All I'd have to do to avoid these things was to believe in myself, have some confidence. [epiphany] Yes, I think that's it! Of course that's it. I can do that. I can love myself, I can. And I will. [pause] Right?

___________________

Well what do you think of it? Any opinions. I don't I thought it was interesting, and I am too lazy to type everything I feel about it.

I'm sorry,

but I do not approve of "dating" a week or two later after a pretty hard break-up. Especially when you are selfish enough to not even think of the other person. I also don't approve of this whole "friends with benefits" thing. You are either dating or not. There shouldn't be something in between. It's absolutely disturbing to me what people do on school grounds. I don't know why everybody loves to make-out, it just bugs me so much! Yeah learn a little will power and wait a couple hours so you can make-out when not everybody is watching. Oh and I know I have already said this but it's worth pointing out, stop making out against the library windows! EVERYONE is watching you and making fun of you.

On the plus side of my day. Me and Katti had quite and adventure at lunch. We went to go get a Route 66 in the cafeteria and I saw this new watermelon drink that I had never had before, so I decided to get it. It was on the to row and when it fell down and I opened the little door thing the drink started to spray out everywhere! It got all over my hands and feet. Well Katti took it out and we thought that the bottom would be popped off or something but it was just a small little whole, spraying us everywhere. On the plus side it was very delicious and it made a good story to tell  people.
Then we went over to Allie and Carson and here is how our conversation went down
Allie: How are those Gardettos Katti
Me: (eating Cheez-its) A little too cheesy thanks for asking
(a couple minutes later)
Allie: (to Carson) You have peanut butter breath
Me: Really? No it's cheese breath.
Yeah that was exciting and one of those "you had to be there" moments.
Well then we got talking about me Katti and Carson going to UofA. And later on me and Katti came to the conclusion we are going to UofA to specialize in making theories and we would call ourselves "something theories" yeah and then later on we added to that with the "something making fun of people theories" Confusing but it would be funnier if you were there.
All in all it was a good day.

++And it was even BETTER because I FINALLY tagged jenny!(:

Night With the Ponkilla's and Jenna

What I want

so much to do right now is watch Moulin Rouge! But I only have it on VHS, and my VHS is apparently "broken" or thats just my moms excuse not to set it up! All of the songs from the movie have been stuck in my head, and I NEED to watch it (or at least I really want to). Yeah so I have made it my goal of this movie on DVD. I think if you see it anywhere you should tell me, and I would love you forever and ever. I also want to watch Anastasia.

diversity

For years and years, everybody is desperately afraid to be different, in any way. And then suddenly, almost over night everybody wants to be different, and that is where we win

- Modern Family

I was watching ABCs Modern Family when this quote was said, and it got me thinking about diversity. At some point in everyones elementary-high school career they have a longing to be in the "popular" crowd and to be exactly how everybody wanted you to be. It is when we realize that being different is better, is when we grow up a little bit.

Everybody is different, and it that statement which makes out world an amazing place to live in. If everybody was the same, there would be no excitement in life. You wouldn't have different likes or dislike, opinions, religion, cultures. Everybody would be living the same boring life that I would call a gray world.

I think the Constitution is pointless without diversity. It mainly talks about people's rights and the freedom to certain things. For example we have the freedom to choose our own religion. Imagine having no other knowledge than what is taught in your religion. And what if that religion was one of the more extreme ones. I would say having a religion is almost absolutely pointless all together without diversity. It might be just me but maybe if you think about it, you will come to the knowledge that I have come to recently.

Think of your friends and how different you are, and how much you enjoy life with them right now. Imagine your friends being complete clones of yourself, no freedom at all.

All in all, strive to be different, better to learn this lesson now rather than when your 30 and regretting it.

I miss

all the good kids movies. I miss old disney when it didn't have Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. I miss idolizing one person. I miss be careless because you never knew what was going on. I miss the days when girls chased boys around. I miss the days when everyone was friends. I miss those little slushies my mom used to make. I miss being able to walk home for lunch. I miss Canada. I just miss being a kid.

"They're going through a phase"

I have come to realization about that quote. They always say there are just going through a phase and they will be back to normal soon. But I think the point of phases is to go through a change. And going through a phase most definitely changes someone, which means that the chances of them "going back to normal" are very slim. A phase for the person is normally a pretty good thing, but for their friends, not so much. Going through phases brings new friends into your life, which consequently sometimes leaves your old friends behind. Unfortunately I feel like one of my closest friends is going through a "phase". And right now I don't like who this person is turning into. Things are changing and I can feel it happening, and this part is not what I wanted to happen. Maybe things will turn out on the sunny side when all is said and done. I can only hope.

I haven't

taken a nap in such a long time! The only time I usually take them is if I shower and I'm upset. Well I showered and I guess I was upset with my mom. Now I feel so tired and I just want to sleep through the rest of this week. Yes, that sure would be nice. School has been really tiring to me lately. I need some excitement in my day! I think I should switch to 4th lunch for a little while, if only I could. Well I do have one thing to be excited about this week... IT'S SPIRIT WEEK! Even though I have come to the conclusion this is the worst spirit week I have ever heard, I am going to participate in some of the days. Tomorrow for instance is dodgeball day (I don't know I guess you dress up like you are going to play dodgeball or something), well I am going to do it. Wednesday is old geezer day, not sure about that one. I give STUCO props for that one it's pretty creative. Thursday is horrible! NEON DAY! I absolutely cannot stand neon color, most definitely not participating in that day. And finally, Friday is black out day. I hope for some reason it rains on that day because if it doesn't it will be WAY TOO HOT, to participate. In other school news, Becca and I are performing our scene in theatre class on Wednesday! Even though I hate the scene I am pretty excited to perform it. I also hate the huge lines me, Martha, Morgan and Katy have to say! (We all share the same scene and al play Lotte.) Yeah the Lettice characters got lucky. Well that's pretty much all the important things happening at school for now. I think I have a good idea for a blog, but its a work in progress.

McKenzies Alternative Lyrics

My sister McKenzie likes to change the lyrics in a lot of songs. Here is a list of lines she has changed
McKenzies translation on top
Actual lyrics on bottom

"Like a frog in a meadow the baby is unnaturally GREEN!"
"Like a froggy, ferny cabbage The baby is unnaturally GRREEN!"

"Just stay right here I won't wash my hair above ya above ya"
"Just stay right here won't put nothing above ya"

"But it's so darn hard when you look"
"But it's dam* hard when your alone"

"They say time takes time"
"They say alls fair in love and war"

"No way to fo'sho I find it in a store"
"No way to know for sure I figure out a cure"

There is a lot more I just can't think of the others.

conversations

on facebook and formspring are the best,you don't even know(: Jenny and Jenna pretty much made my day today haha! We went from talking about concerts all the way to talking about W's and talking to each other in person. That's the longest facebook chat I have had on one of my statuses. And now I have like 70 text messages from facebook about all of the notifications. And to all the creepers on facebook, I hope you enjoyed our random conversation(: If you feel like reading it, I'm sure you will pee your pants laughing from the randomness. Well wor wow wi will we watching wizzie wcquire with wy wister(:


Small excerpt:)

Concerts;

Haven't been to one in some while. So I am planning on going to one this summer. I would love to see Nevershoutnever, if he wasn't never shout never. So yeah, I have just been craving a concert lately. So if you know of any good concerts coming up, you should let me know, so we can get a big group together! I would absolutely adore seeing Cady Groves! Too bad she doesn't have concerts a lot. I want to see The Maine and Mayday Parade together again! The last one was so much fun! I don't know let me know of some concerts coming up so I can check into them!
(Picture from: This Century, Mayday Parade, Every Avenue, The Maine and All Time Low concert!)



Oh and on another note I need to earn $60 by Sunday so if you need a babysitter or yard worker or anything else, I will do it. I really want to earn camp money on my own. Oh and if you want one of my necklaces that I make, you can help me by buying one, and I will put anything you want in them! Which brings me to my next comment, if anyone has large bottle caps for me to make them with, that would help a lot! I am only charging like $3 for one! It's a pretty good deal if you ask me(:

1 wish

If I could have one wish I would wish that I could move back to Calgary, Alberta and live in the same house in the same neighborhood with the same people. If only my wish could come true:/

Change

I feel like I need to make some changes in my life, I feel like my life isn't progressing anymore. And I am ready for this change I am planning!(:
So I know how I want to start off, I am going to cut my hair short (even though some people protest) I feel like it will give me this "clean" feeling. My hair has been this way since the 5th grade. And change has adapted itself into my hair(:
Now the next thing for change I feel like I have already started. I am ready to branch out and make different and new friends! **This doesn't mean I am abandoning my old friends. But doing this will be a big step on how I want my life to be.
So if you don't really know me all that well, or if I don't know you, you should seriously just message me or text me or call me. It'll work out for me and for you. Branching out from your cliques is an important key to surviving high school!

That's all I have for now unfortunately, but if you have any ideas or things you did for change, let me know. My ears are 100% open to your suggestion. I would love to hear your stories of change. I'll get inspired, and "I need inspiration, not another negotiation" as quoted by Drew Barrymore in Music & Lyrics.

The Simplest Things

I figured out today that the simplest things, bring the most happiness. Sure those big extravagant things, may seem like they are better, but it's the simple day to day things that make a person shine. Doing little acts of kindness, could change a persons life or at least they look at it. Even though you may think you could have done a lot more for that person, that little thing you did made their day that much more special. And with every single one of these small deeds adds up to something spectacular! "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." To be completely frank everything you do in someone's life adds up to something so extraordinary, you ended up changing their life. You could be the one who saves that person from taking the wrong path which leads them to a spiraling down-hill slope.
So for the few who are actually reading this I hope you take this small entry to heart and do a "small and simple thing" for someone who needs it. You can change a persons life.
Even the smallest of flower can brighten some ones day

Plans For Today

Since my Grandparents and their crazy dog are over, I actually have plans today.
First we are going to see my Great Uncle Bob, I don't know what I am supposed to expect from it, but I should only think about the positive.
Then we are going to go see a movie with my Grandma, too bad she's already seen the movie I want to see so bad; Date Night
But I would also like to see How To Train Your Dragon and The Last Song or The Bounty Hunter
And finally, we will eat with the entire fambam.

Yesterday wasn't looking forward to today, but a change in attitude made yesterday change it's mind(:
I'm in a really good mood because the windows are open and the birds are chirping, I can smell pancakes being cooked by my mom, and I can hear Bring It On on the teley, and the tip tap typing of these Macintosh computer keys. The only thing to make this morning better would be some Fruit Punch, Chicken Nuggets and Razzles!

Easy Smile

When Your In Distress

Remember these words from Dr Suess. They can change the way you look at life.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

A person's a person, no matter how small

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You

If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend

You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left

Truly a hero in my eyes. He changed the way I look at my life.

The End Of The World As We Know It

Spicy chicken nuggets are now off of the menu at Wendy's!
What else am I supposed to eat there?
Now I just want my main fast-food chain (McD's) to stick it to Wendy's and make some kick-butt spicy nuggets!

If you know me, you must know how depressed I am right now.
Ughh.

I kind of want to go read a book. But I need a new one.
Maybe I will go sit at the park, 'cause it is very nice outside.
Expecting rain possibly. Sure would be nice (:

Passion

So chicken is my favorite food of all time. I don't know how I could live without it. Well McNuggets are pretty much amazing and they do this 50 nuggets for $9.99. Well I have not yet had the chance to but them yet, for i am trying to be good and save money. So if you love me you should go get me some, I will even let you eat them with me.
The only thing to make these better is if they were spicy!

Small girl Big car

I would just love to have this truck!

To 10 Favorite Books

Top 10 Favorite Books:
1: Walk Two Moons
2: Schooled
3: To Kill A Mockingbird
4: The Outsiders
5: The City of Ember
6: The Wish Giver
7: Tuck Everlasting
8: The Paperbag Princess
9: Love, Stargirl
10: New Moon

I really want to read The Great Gatsby
and multiple other books:)

Blue eyes and dimples

I don't know, but I think a guy with blue eyes and big dimples would be the cutest thing ever! My perfect guy, is probably to good to be true. I am always able to find certain traits in people that I imagine in the perfect guy, but I have not yet met the whole package. I honestly, think Desert Ridge High School, needs to get a shipment of cute MATURE boys that won't annoy me. That sure would be nice.

**One thing that will never happen to me is "love at first sight" I cannot understand how someone can know that, that person is THE ONE just by one look. For me I need to get to know them, get annoyed with them and then like them. If only love was as easy as that simple phrase.

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law.

-Boethius,

**Day of Silence; try it, if only for a little while. It could make a huge difference(:

And in one word; Vial

I hate the cool cats that make-out against the windows of the library, I wonder if they realize that everyone in there can see them and that they are all gagging and making fun of them.

So this is Cady Groves, and she is in my top 5 favorite female singers. She is so gorgeous and her voice is down right amazing! I wish I could sing as well as her:) Okay so my favorite songs she sings are Life Of A Pirate and Oh Darling! I suggest looking these songs up! *Heads up: Oh Darling is by plug in stereo and Cady is feat. in it*

Peeeesssss: Look up He Is We! and Emergency 911!

Pregnancy: 14 Weeks

My mom is now 14 weeks pregnant with her 5th child! We just looked up the average statistics of a baby at 14 weeks.
So apparently the child is now the size of a good lemon and weight 2 1/2 oz. My mom said she could start to feel it moving and my sister says "Can I feel it kick" which then my mom continues on to make a remark on how skinny I am and that if she was as skinny as me then you could feel it kicking.
But that's besides the point. So everyone really likes the name Cocoa for a girl and Broden for a boy, but my problem with Broden is that my brothers nicname is "Body" and that is too closely related if you ask me. Other names we have thought of include: Adeline and Ella. My mom and dad really want a girl so they haven't been focusing on boys names all that much. We get to find out the sex of the baby April 30. Can't wait!

Pre-Day Of Silence

today I learned how shallow my school (Desert Ridge) can be. You see, tomorrow is the day of silence (raising awareness to homosexual bullying) and over 1/2 the people I talked to today said "I'm not coming to school tomorrow 'cause it's gay day." Now I like men but that doesn't mean I am not going to support this cause! Everybody has the choice of what gender to "fancy" just because someone might like the same gender that doesn't mean you are better than them! Bullying is wrong in general but bullying someone for what gender they like is outrageous! It's sad that this is what our "free country" has gotten to! I mean imagine this situation in reverse, what if you (someone who is straight) were the minority, and their was a day set aside for raising awareness of straight bullying, would you want everybody to skip school and say the day is pointless? I wouldn't think so. I am ashamed to be a part of a school that has such shallow people! I am a proud supporter of people, of every kind, every sex!

Mutual 4.14.10

Pre-mutual; I am going to Sis. Bond's house to go check out her "retro" clothes to see if I like any of them, who knows?
Mutual; The mia-maids are going to a gym to get fit (if this is a sign to us saying we are unfit I am appalled;) ) My goal is to not die, what do you think? It sounds like a good goal to me. haha if I come to school soar tomorrow you know why. More posts later on how the work-out went:)

13 multi-colored balloons

These balloons, will go down in history!:) This is Katti and Allie with the 13 balloons we bought for Carson. They were such a hassle for the Spirit Store workers but totally worth it. When we tried to sign the balloons we were attacked by the various balloons!
4.14.10

To Mend A Broken Heart

Today: Me Katti and Allie "hustled" $13 from different people to buy balloons for Carson. We managed to get 15 balloons (not just any balloons, the coolest balloons you ever did see) so Carson feels better abut his decision. Feel better Tawlayyyy!:)