So I have came to the conclusion that I have made it pretty far in my 14 1/2 years of my life. I am definitely not what I expected myself to be when I was five. I used to think I would be a child star like the Olsen twins or something. I definitely wouldn't think I would be living in the freakin' hot Arizona when I was 5. I thought I would forever be in Calgary, Canada, and I sometimes wish I still lived there but I have grown up so much from living in Arizona and I can't even think of how my life would have turned out if I ended up staying there. Even though I sometimes don't want to live here in AZ I am happy I did because I wouldn't have made the great friends that I have made or made decisions that I have made here. I feel like I have matured so much since last year even. High School has been such a good thing for me and I just finished my first year in it. I couldn't imagine a better life for me right now. I am very proud of how far I have come. I feel like I can be dependent on people but I can be independent when necessary. I used to be so dependent I could hardly function without the presence of at least one of my friends. Nowadays, I like to be alone but I love to go out as well. Sort of like the best of both worlds (sorry to go all Hannah Montana there). I have come to a point in my life where I am simply confident. I have confidence in who I am and what I believe in. I can do things on my own and make my own decisions without receiving the approval from the popular kids like I did in grade four. Or now how I can dress however I want without worrying about what people have to say about it like I did in grade seven. I remember in elementary I would do anything to be in the "popular crowd" I thought that I was just a waste of air if I wasn't popular. Now I don't even want to be popular I could care less about it. I like being with the friends I have now even if we aren't the coolest kids around. I have changed so much in the past few years. I feel like I have finally formed into the butterfly that I have been waiting to become for the longest time. I know I am not done changing and maybe I never will be but during my journey I am going to find the positive in everything I do and what I become. I am happy that I have broken out of my little shell and gotten to know new people from different religions, cultures, and even social groups. I used to only like to hang out with one kind of crowd, but now I like to have a huge variety of friends that I know I can always turn to. I know it is strange that I am writing a blog about how I am proud of my life when I am so young but I could care less personally.
Now I just want to say thanks to everybody that has come into my life and helped me realize things.
SBaugh RTarry JKonno JDavis KSmith KPonkilla KPonkilla JNguyen JJensen DBerry RMonson LMonson JHereford KSmith EBullock MFitt ARichter CBaugh AWells CFlored SEhradrt BDix JBanks SAllen JTwohig AMartin MBica JArmenta
These are just some of the main people who have changed my life or helped me with my life in the past 10 years. Lots of you guys we aren't really as close anymore but you guys have really impacted me.
Note: There are a lot of people I am forgetting please do not get offended. not all my friends are even on this list.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
simply complex
good oxymoron eh?
truth is everything is complex, nothing is simple
"The complexity of things - the things within things - just seems to be endless. I mean nothing is easy, nothing is simple."
well complexity was mine and jenny's conversation of about ten minutes ago.
it was brought up by how mankind tends to hear what they want to hear.
the it evolved into how we love complexity and how it is somewhat two faced.
what i mean is that complexity is fascinating and thrilling, it leads to questions that we are eager to be answered. but on the other hand with all this complexity come frustration which is definitely the negative aspect.
everything is complicated nothing can be solved with a small action. for things to be figured out and solved you have to get the fascinating questions in and get the frustration that is in the packaged deal.
mankind in one word can be described as complicated.
mankind is still not completely figured out.
there are so many questions that have been unanswered and so many questions that will come after those other questions have been answered. complexity is endless.
and i am sure that this blog is very complicated for some of you but that is good for you. and as jenny would say "it is good for the soul" and it truly is.
and to add another random comment in here revolved around this subject i would like to say that mankind can't be fixed to what one person wants it to be like. people have the choice of what they want to be, do, believe. everything we do is complicated as humans and it is hard for some people to comprehend that. though some people don't always agree with others we should respect what other people do and who they are.
well there is all my mixed and complex feeling that i tried to pour out onto a page.
p.s dear _______, things are different now and maybe it is for the better but i am done with all this stress and hope for something that isn't going to happen.
truth is everything is complex, nothing is simple
"The complexity of things - the things within things - just seems to be endless. I mean nothing is easy, nothing is simple."
well complexity was mine and jenny's conversation of about ten minutes ago.
it was brought up by how mankind tends to hear what they want to hear.
the it evolved into how we love complexity and how it is somewhat two faced.
what i mean is that complexity is fascinating and thrilling, it leads to questions that we are eager to be answered. but on the other hand with all this complexity come frustration which is definitely the negative aspect.
everything is complicated nothing can be solved with a small action. for things to be figured out and solved you have to get the fascinating questions in and get the frustration that is in the packaged deal.
mankind in one word can be described as complicated.
mankind is still not completely figured out.
there are so many questions that have been unanswered and so many questions that will come after those other questions have been answered. complexity is endless.
and i am sure that this blog is very complicated for some of you but that is good for you. and as jenny would say "it is good for the soul" and it truly is.
and to add another random comment in here revolved around this subject i would like to say that mankind can't be fixed to what one person wants it to be like. people have the choice of what they want to be, do, believe. everything we do is complicated as humans and it is hard for some people to comprehend that. though some people don't always agree with others we should respect what other people do and who they are.
well there is all my mixed and complex feeling that i tried to pour out onto a page.
p.s dear _______, things are different now and maybe it is for the better but i am done with all this stress and hope for something that isn't going to happen.
dance , dance
last night i went to a stake dance with becca blomquist and it was one of the dances that are really lame every time i go to one. but i had nothing to do so i went with her. when we first got there, there were literally 10 people there. it was me becca tyler kj truman jordan jordan alex cody and alyx. it was so boring because it was just my little group that was there and we did absolutely nothing. then time continued on sydney baugh showed up with chandler and her friend kayla. and thats when the dance started to fill up slowly including kyle and zach (and some of the girls that i do not particularly fancy). then my buddies blake troy and jake came and i pretty much jumped from different groups the entire time. then sydney went and got me some watermelon slushie from sonic and everybody started to consume it (watermelon is the best flavor i understand why everybodywanted some,;)) one reason i really love dances is the line/group dances because me and becca and sydney are always in front being spazzes (yes that is so uncool but at least we are having fun). i do enjoy dancing with the new guys that i have never met before but i do have a problem with the way some guys dance at these things.
The Hip Hurting Dance
this dance is quite painful for girls. its for the guys that i call "swayers". you see swayers only sway back and forth and never pick up their feet. this is very painful because only your hips are moving for the entire song. anyways there is this guy who remain nameless that is really good at this dance. at first i thought it was just me (because i was on my period and i thought it was just my cramps) but then sydney and becca danced with him too and all our hips hirt for like ten minutes even after the dance. So here is a heads up for all guys who could possibly be reading this DO NOT SWAY (:
so becca decided that she was going to pretend to be lesbian with me. and this guy was taking it a little too literally, every time she danced with a guy he came up to me and he is like "she is ditching you for a guy how do you feel?" and he said that with all seriousness. so hilarious i kid you not. and he always popped up around me whenever i was alone for like two seconds. he was EVERYWHERE!
So yeah i had a lot of fun last night i danced with cody, alex, blakex2, jake and others that i have drawn a blank to what their names are. I also learned that I am really good at kicking. me chandler kyle and becca were doing a line dance that involved kicking really high and chandler kept purposely kicking me so everytime i was behind him tried to kick him but he would get away, when i finally kicked i guess i kicked him really hard which i am proud of because i don't necessarily look like the most intimidating person in the world.
so now it is summer and i am looking forward to the bucketlist and whatever anyonelse wants to do. oh and maybe disneyland? if my family can earn some mula.
thats all for now i guess.
The Hip Hurting Dance
this dance is quite painful for girls. its for the guys that i call "swayers". you see swayers only sway back and forth and never pick up their feet. this is very painful because only your hips are moving for the entire song. anyways there is this guy who remain nameless that is really good at this dance. at first i thought it was just me (because i was on my period and i thought it was just my cramps) but then sydney and becca danced with him too and all our hips hirt for like ten minutes even after the dance. So here is a heads up for all guys who could possibly be reading this DO NOT SWAY (:
so becca decided that she was going to pretend to be lesbian with me. and this guy was taking it a little too literally, every time she danced with a guy he came up to me and he is like "she is ditching you for a guy how do you feel?" and he said that with all seriousness. so hilarious i kid you not. and he always popped up around me whenever i was alone for like two seconds. he was EVERYWHERE!
So yeah i had a lot of fun last night i danced with cody, alex, blakex2, jake and others that i have drawn a blank to what their names are. I also learned that I am really good at kicking. me chandler kyle and becca were doing a line dance that involved kicking really high and chandler kept purposely kicking me so everytime i was behind him tried to kick him but he would get away, when i finally kicked i guess i kicked him really hard which i am proud of because i don't necessarily look like the most intimidating person in the world.
so now it is summer and i am looking forward to the bucketlist and whatever anyonelse wants to do. oh and maybe disneyland? if my family can earn some mula.
thats all for now i guess.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
last day of school pictures
just pictures, for now.
most of the pictures are from seminary playing with play-doh. and also people i found after school:P
well i am waiting for my pictures to upload so i am going to type a little.
it doesn't feel like the last day to me, don't get me wrong i love that it is summer. but it's just weird. my first year of high school is already over! it went by so fast! i only have 3 more years. thats like in the blink of an eye. crazy stuff. the future is so close i can taste it. oh boy, i finally have the feeling that i am growing up(:
p.s: graduation was long and endless and confusing but i am very proud of you rory.
pp.ss: my pictures are taking forever to upload
ppp.sss: I am having a shaving cream fight then going to see shrek. you should join me(:
pppp.ssss: photobucket is so slow! (note: this is 5 minutes later than the pp.ss)
FINALLY!!!!!
now for pictures:
most of the pictures are from seminary playing with play-doh. and also people i found after school:P
well i am waiting for my pictures to upload so i am going to type a little.
it doesn't feel like the last day to me, don't get me wrong i love that it is summer. but it's just weird. my first year of high school is already over! it went by so fast! i only have 3 more years. thats like in the blink of an eye. crazy stuff. the future is so close i can taste it. oh boy, i finally have the feeling that i am growing up(:
p.s: graduation was long and endless and confusing but i am very proud of you rory.
pp.ss: my pictures are taking forever to upload
ppp.sss: I am having a shaving cream fight then going to see shrek. you should join me(:
pppp.ssss: photobucket is so slow! (note: this is 5 minutes later than the pp.ss)
FINALLY!!!!!
now for pictures:
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
finals.
today i took two finals, and had one party.
luckily i passed both of them.
math - C (my grade maintained the same grade)
i leave a freshman with an A in math
french - A (i am very happy about that one)
i leave a freshman with an A in math
and my party was in theatre but i have an A in that class as well.
tomorrow i have my finals for biology and english.
i am only really worried about my english one because for some reason i am really good at english during the year but when it comes to tests it goes downhill. no idea why.
biology should be easy i think.
so it was the second to last day of school today and it doesn't even feel like the end of the year to me. i feel like i have a month left. lame. hopefully tomorrow will feel the way the last day of school should feel.
so graduation soon. me and my mom are decorating the house for the party. fun fun.
speaking of my mom. she passed out today in dillards. my dad said she had a shortage of food in her system. hopefully she will get to feeling better and the baby is okay too. she keeps trying to clean so me and my grandpa are trying to get everything done so she can lay down and relax. poor mom.
anyways, in french me abbey and erin and sort of martha (who was eavesdropping at the time) got to talking about friends and summer. how we feel like we are all drifting away from our closest friends. we were talking about how easy it is to grow apart from friends in the summer. and how you can tell when someone really wants to stay your friend they will make the initiative to actually hang out with you. i know i am not necessarily the best at hanging out with people over the summer but i think i am going to try that this year. to make the initiative to hang out with the people i plan on staying friends with. then we got to talking about my mothers pregnancy to which apparently i had not told any of them that my moms eggo was prego haha. oh speaking of pregnancy my french teachers baby is supposedly due next week but it could be coming any time soon. hopefully she will be a lot nicer next year because she won't be pregnant. i guess we will just have to wait and find out for myself.
well video chat soon hopefully.
come what may summer!
luckily i passed both of them.
math - C (my grade maintained the same grade)
i leave a freshman with an A in math
french - A (i am very happy about that one)
i leave a freshman with an A in math
and my party was in theatre but i have an A in that class as well.
tomorrow i have my finals for biology and english.
i am only really worried about my english one because for some reason i am really good at english during the year but when it comes to tests it goes downhill. no idea why.
biology should be easy i think.
so it was the second to last day of school today and it doesn't even feel like the end of the year to me. i feel like i have a month left. lame. hopefully tomorrow will feel the way the last day of school should feel.
so graduation soon. me and my mom are decorating the house for the party. fun fun.
speaking of my mom. she passed out today in dillards. my dad said she had a shortage of food in her system. hopefully she will get to feeling better and the baby is okay too. she keeps trying to clean so me and my grandpa are trying to get everything done so she can lay down and relax. poor mom.
anyways, in french me abbey and erin and sort of martha (who was eavesdropping at the time) got to talking about friends and summer. how we feel like we are all drifting away from our closest friends. we were talking about how easy it is to grow apart from friends in the summer. and how you can tell when someone really wants to stay your friend they will make the initiative to actually hang out with you. i know i am not necessarily the best at hanging out with people over the summer but i think i am going to try that this year. to make the initiative to hang out with the people i plan on staying friends with. then we got to talking about my mothers pregnancy to which apparently i had not told any of them that my moms eggo was prego haha. oh speaking of pregnancy my french teachers baby is supposedly due next week but it could be coming any time soon. hopefully she will be a lot nicer next year because she won't be pregnant. i guess we will just have to wait and find out for myself.
well video chat soon hopefully.
come what may summer!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
start of
the last week of school.
I technically only have 3 days of school (adding the two 1/2 days together)
I have 2 finals tomorrow. 2 final on tuesday. none on wednesday and 1 on thursday. so its a pretty even mix.
not quite sure how i am feeling about the whole thing.
I am totally ready for summer but i don't think i want to let go of a year that has turned my life upside down.
I know this summer is going to add to this whole rotation in my life. I can't wait, but a little too anxious.
This year started out pretty shaky i honestly used to miss the jr. high at the beginning of the year. I have drifted away from TRPWSITMOTCAD (The random people who sit in the middle of the courtyard all day) they were like my closest friends and they all had 4th hr lunch while me and jeannie had 5th hour. But I also met a lot of new people this year like Katti and Kyra and Jenny. I have also gotten a lot closer to people this year like Gunnar, Kayla and Jenna. And others have drifted away. sad but thats life i guess.
I cant wait until summer, I want to hang out with a lot of new people and meet new people. I want something new and exciting to happen. i NEED this summer to rememberable.
Well my aunt and grandparents are over from Canada for Rory's graduation. Which means I got canadian chocolate bars and ketchup chips<333 they are my favorite things in the world.
I might bring some chips tomorrow. I don't know.
Postscript : I bought Moulin Rouge on DVD so someone should come watch it with me sometime.
Postscript 2 : Jenny+Jenna; @ blockbuster all kids movies are 99 cents so we should have out movie night soon.
Postscript 3: We need to schedule the new date for chalk night.
I technically only have 3 days of school (adding the two 1/2 days together)
I have 2 finals tomorrow. 2 final on tuesday. none on wednesday and 1 on thursday. so its a pretty even mix.
not quite sure how i am feeling about the whole thing.
I am totally ready for summer but i don't think i want to let go of a year that has turned my life upside down.
I know this summer is going to add to this whole rotation in my life. I can't wait, but a little too anxious.
This year started out pretty shaky i honestly used to miss the jr. high at the beginning of the year. I have drifted away from TRPWSITMOTCAD (The random people who sit in the middle of the courtyard all day) they were like my closest friends and they all had 4th hr lunch while me and jeannie had 5th hour. But I also met a lot of new people this year like Katti and Kyra and Jenny. I have also gotten a lot closer to people this year like Gunnar, Kayla and Jenna. And others have drifted away. sad but thats life i guess.
I cant wait until summer, I want to hang out with a lot of new people and meet new people. I want something new and exciting to happen. i NEED this summer to rememberable.
Well my aunt and grandparents are over from Canada for Rory's graduation. Which means I got canadian chocolate bars and ketchup chips<333 they are my favorite things in the world.
I might bring some chips tomorrow. I don't know.
Postscript : I bought Moulin Rouge on DVD so someone should come watch it with me sometime.
Postscript 2 : Jenny+Jenna; @ blockbuster all kids movies are 99 cents so we should have out movie night soon.
Postscript 3: We need to schedule the new date for chalk night.
Friday, May 21, 2010
disappointment
yes that has been happening a lot lately.
disappointment in people - the things they have done lately
disappointment in events - things that didn't work out as well as they should have (talent show)
disappointment in school - finals and not doing more
that is one thing i sure don't like to be very often.
it usually takes a lot for me to get disappointed but for some reason lately it has become a lot easier to become disappointed.
on a positive note i guess you could say this disappointment will make me stronger. that i will learn from this. disappointment cannot destroy me, thats for sure. disappointment could only lead me to new adventures with different things and/or people.
also from disappointment you gain a sense of hope. hope that things will turn out well. hope that it will never happen again. hope to be able to overcome any more disappointments along the way.
off of that note.
i realized something today i thought i already realized.
we aren't the same. we don't act the same. we most likely couldn't get back to the place that we were at. we had fun, and i am always here for you. but things just aren't the same. and summer will most likely be the end of it. i hope that things will get better in the far future but the time a part we are having will strengthen us. it will make us realize some of each others faults. for now, we are too different, too different to bring us to a common ground.
and off of that note.
officially only 4 more days of my freshman year left.
this year went by so very quickly. to think i only have three more years to go.
it may sound long for some of you, but to me that seems like in a blink of an eye i will be graduating.
rory graduating helped me realized this. it wasn't so long ago that he was a freshman and his high school career went really fast for me at least.
i cannot wait until summer. this will be the start of a great change in my life.
and off of that note as well.
Katti Smith - thanks for being there, for everything during lunch. you are one of the very few people i can trust with my life and i hope you know that
Sydney Baugh - i'm not quite sure what i am going to do without you. a piece of my life is leaving with you to gilbert. i can't believe you are moving and i don't want you to but i will live and so will you and we will still see each other a lot. you and your family have been my sanity and i am more that grateful for all of you.
Jenny Jensen - even though i haven't even talked to you for that long i know i can talk to you and you will be there to listen. and that is strange because it normally takes a lot for someone to get me to talk to them about my life. (i guess your special) my ears are open for you always. i can't wait until summer. concerts.movienights.chalknight.summer'10!
and now i bid thee adieu
disappointment in people - the things they have done lately
disappointment in events - things that didn't work out as well as they should have (talent show)
disappointment in school - finals and not doing more
that is one thing i sure don't like to be very often.
it usually takes a lot for me to get disappointed but for some reason lately it has become a lot easier to become disappointed.
on a positive note i guess you could say this disappointment will make me stronger. that i will learn from this. disappointment cannot destroy me, thats for sure. disappointment could only lead me to new adventures with different things and/or people.
also from disappointment you gain a sense of hope. hope that things will turn out well. hope that it will never happen again. hope to be able to overcome any more disappointments along the way.
off of that note.
i realized something today i thought i already realized.
we aren't the same. we don't act the same. we most likely couldn't get back to the place that we were at. we had fun, and i am always here for you. but things just aren't the same. and summer will most likely be the end of it. i hope that things will get better in the far future but the time a part we are having will strengthen us. it will make us realize some of each others faults. for now, we are too different, too different to bring us to a common ground.
and off of that note.
officially only 4 more days of my freshman year left.
this year went by so very quickly. to think i only have three more years to go.
it may sound long for some of you, but to me that seems like in a blink of an eye i will be graduating.
rory graduating helped me realized this. it wasn't so long ago that he was a freshman and his high school career went really fast for me at least.
i cannot wait until summer. this will be the start of a great change in my life.
and off of that note as well.
Katti Smith - thanks for being there, for everything during lunch. you are one of the very few people i can trust with my life and i hope you know that
Sydney Baugh - i'm not quite sure what i am going to do without you. a piece of my life is leaving with you to gilbert. i can't believe you are moving and i don't want you to but i will live and so will you and we will still see each other a lot. you and your family have been my sanity and i am more that grateful for all of you.
Jenny Jensen - even though i haven't even talked to you for that long i know i can talk to you and you will be there to listen. and that is strange because it normally takes a lot for someone to get me to talk to them about my life. (i guess your special) my ears are open for you always. i can't wait until summer. concerts.movienights.chalknight.summer'10!
and now i bid thee adieu
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